To Hell and Back, Just A Dad Fighting for My Kids
Exclusive early release with signed author copies November 13th
Available on Amazon.com and wherever books are sold November 27th
"There’s no formula to fatherhood but putting the child first is what we have to do, no matter what. Even if you made mistakes yesterday, take action today. Your children need you." - Robert Curtis Anderson, author
My Top 7 Responsibilities When Rearing Children, Especially as a Black Father
Their spiritual well-being – attending church weekly as a family has been fundamental, helping us adjust to our new lives.
Their mental state – being willing to address questions they have regarding fault/missing mom, life, peer pressure and being leaders, not followers.
Teaching them to manage emotions. Giving them the space and ability to be angry or hurt but not to allow that to fester.
Their education and life skills – pushing them to excel academically, socially and environmentally. They have been overexposed to things and hopefully, they will be able to see problems/red flags with others without having to repeat our parental mistakes.
Reminding them of their value and encouraging their self-work, talents, and abilities, daily.
Forgiveness – encouraging them to forgive and love their mom, maintaining a respectful depiction of her at all costs. Always loving the other parent no matter what.
Tenacity – life hasn’t been easy or fair but they have made it through despite; and they shall continue to overcome and achieve.
"I read “To Hell and Back: Just A Dad Fighting for My Kids” in one sitting, because I was transfixed by this real life story of a man who has made being a loving, caring father his true calling. The story is real, raw and painful in its truth about the challenges of relationships and how they can go wrong. What struck me was how Robert Curtis Anderson shared his honesty, his mistakes — but he went beyond and offered a step-by-step guide so other fathers could avoid the pain and trauma he experienced. This is a book for any parent — male or female — that offers valuable life lessons." - Daryle G. Brown, Los Angeles, News Producer
Many people believe Black fathers don't want to be an integral part of their children's lives, but they are wrong. In 2014, the CDC (Center for Disease Control) published a study that said 67% of black fathers see their children at least once a month compared to 59% of white and Hispanic fathers, but oftentimes their voices are ignored because policies and practices marginalize the caregiving roles of non-custodial fathers care-giving roles by excluding them from educational and health-related decisions about their children.
Robert Curtis Anderson is one of the 67% of Black men. With a pending divorce, this father was content sharing custody until he noticed things spinning out of control. Financially and emotionally drained, he knew he had to protect his young children, and that meant fighting for sole custody in a system which typically favors mothers.
To Hell and Back equips fathers to do what’s in the best interests of their child(ren)’s well-being while encouraging them to be steadfast, responsible and proactive despite the conflicts, drama and battles which arise when one is Just A Dad Fighting for His Kids.
I feel emotional, a lot more than I thought I would be. Thinking of the losses, and the things my kids and I went through, brings up a myriad of emotions. It’s harder than I thought it would be to share my feelings in addition to the stories however, persevere, I must. Emotionally, I knew I needed to be open and truthful so that you, as the reader can understand the difficulties of being a man and a father.
Tired of being all over the place, I’m ready for a change. Questioning myself about making decisions about the children, and for myself, as it comes to moving forward with them, with me, and in future relationships. It’s been a difficult journey. At times, I’ve pulled on the side of the road and just cried. I’ve cried about the violence, the manipulation, the things my children witnessed and the pain they felt at seeing us treated poorly by people who said they loved us. It’s surely changed the way we see life and ourselves.
Overexposure, especially when children are little, is a terrible thing, and can make growing up and maturing more difficult, especially in this world of technology, video games, violence and bitterness. Writing this book and getting in touch with the things which occurred in the past has been a healthy dose of therapy of sorts, and it’s also been a solid start for the building of our future, our, meaning my teenaged children and me, their middle-aged dad. As I share some of the stories, I’m doing my best to share the thoughts and emotions behind them, but also know, that as a man, it’s difficult. If you are a man reading this, you know what I’m saying.
Just stay strong brothers, and don’t try doing it on your own. Support, along with faith, prayer and surrounding yourself with trustworthy people who have your best interests at heart is crucial. Don’t fight that – being healthy is something you deserve. Don’t be afraid to question the past, but also, take the lessons from it and choose to move forward. It’s a daily process, but it’s worth it because your kids need a healthy dad, at the very least.
Well, let’s get to it.
Robert Curtis Anderson a devoted dad of three, two of which are teenagers, is an advocate for fathers like him, who want to raise their children. He offers insight and tools appealing to men, especially fathers who are going through divorce, separation or who are simply fighting for the best interests of their child(ren). When Robert can find the time between raising kids and his 25+ year career with FedEx as a tractor-trailer driver, he loves to fish and hunt.
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